Thursday, May 23


( fer-giv )  verb ;  to grant pardon for or remission of an offense; 
absolve;   to cease to feel resentment against.

I am dealing with a 10 yr. long issue 

I am not good at quoting scripture on subjects, but I was taught that the Bible says if someone ASKS you for forgiveness, you shall forgive them.  That I can do. The gray area for me is when I am asked by OTHERS to forgive someone who has wronged me, while the person they are referring to thinks they have only spoken the their truth on the matter. 

There are many times when it is easy to forgive people. Even if they don't ask. Easy to excuse someone who is having a crappy day, or a bad situation at home/job and they hurt your feelings.  In fact, when my son was in school he complained that I always sided with those that he had issues with ~ I would try to explain away why they must have acted like that.  I was everyone else's cheerleader!  

So, when words were angrily spoken about me to my husband (that totally crossed the line), we chose to step away from that relationship to protect ourselves from further discord.  No one WANTS to live life totally avoiding a family member ~ each trying not to be in the same space at the same time.  The only thing in our favor was living several states apart already. 

Over time, different family members came to us, addressing our separation. We heard a lot of "that's just the way they are" and "be the bigger person". They encouraged us to meet with and forgive this person for the things that were said. Not because the person expressed that they wanted us in their life, but because everyone else thought it was the thing to do..... "for the family".  For all we know, the person is fine with the separation.  So..... why won't the other person come forth? It was our understanding that they felt that they were only speaking the truth about how they felt..... even saying "I am sorry you do not agree with me" and then later saying "I apologized" (are you kidding me? perfect example of someone who is very literal ~ always).  

So, here we sit, 10 yrs. later and other than a family wedding, we have not been around this person.  Our children (all grown) are welcome to have a relationship with them, but due to the distance there have not been many opportunities.  My question continues to be: How to resolve the situation enough to allow ourselves to be at future gatherings at the same time. I know that God does not expect me to be a doormat for others to wipe their feet upon nor want me to be judged by my peers. Clearly this person does not wish for me to be part of their family (based on the words they spoke), so how is it I should put myself in front of them?  Or not. 

Tuesday, April 9

The Color Yellow Means Spring

With the warmer temperatures comes pollen. A yellow dusting is covering all of Hoover, Alabama (though you may also be experiencing it where you are). Some of it has found its way into my home as well. That comes with back doors being left open for pups that like the sunshine or just ringing the bells hanging from the door to go out every few minutes! I know the predicted rain will be welcomed.... though I do not think mother nature is through with us just yet.

Another sign of Spring is all the birds chirping. I love love love to listen to all the different vocals!! They are also nesting ~ I helped a poor bird out that kept trying to build a nest behind a cross I have hanging on my front door. The little pieces of sticks and grass/weeds kept falling right through to the porch. So, I bought a little spray of sticks and set it behind the door.....

Now we are talking spring!!! But, I have to be oh so careful when opening my front door! One egg has already fallen out.

Sunday, November 25

Thanksgiving Thankfuls

After almost two years of life being turned on it's side, I feel the need to list my blessings and joys.  Just Thankful, Happy Thoughts! 

  1. My Husband and surgery that was successful 
  2. Children that have grown into amazing adults. 
  3. A home that keeps us protected.  
  4. Abundant food (too much at times!)
  5. The love of dogs
  6. Church   
  7. This year my eyes have seen the most glorious colors of Fall. 
  8. Watching my baby sister find love. 
  9. Movies that move me ~ tears and all. 
  10. Good health for my family! Especially Corey & others being cancer free! 
  11. Thankful for Family that stands by you. 
  12. Music played loudly and joyfully. 
  13. Grandchildren. 
  14. Surprise morning phone calls from Grands
  15. Friends that not only listen, but give you honest advice.
  16. A good haircut. 
  17. Shoes that don't hurt your feet 
  18. 'Dancing' at a football game 
  19. Blankies and fuzzy socks. Mine. 
  20. Blessings in Business

Saturday, August 11

Nana Duty

Last month I had the opportunity to be blessed with a long weekend of Nana Duty in Chattanooga. I love babysitting when the momma and daddy are away!! Grands act a little different when they are released from the watchful eye of parents. 

Now, I am not saying I had it easy breezy.... there were a few screaming meltdowns. (One said three year old is not a fan of hair washing) And much like the twin toddlers of 1985, the two boys fed off one another ~ One screams and cries, the other one screams and cries. Little grand is quite sensitive to the outdoor voice his brother uses when he is unhappy.  

My biggest disappointment of the weekend was the weather. Not much chance for outside play until Sunday, when mom & dad were returning. We did hit the mall, which has an indoor play area. And a food court. Hello Chick-fil-a! I fed both boys PBJ sandwiches before we left and then they both devoured chicken strips and lemonade. 

Bedtime was pretty easy.... both boys were tired each night. That could have something to do with the fact that Nana is not a pro at time management. Hey, if you are getting the love from two precious boys ~ who wants to give that up??? Oh, and clocks. Only clock I see is the the one hanging in the boys bedroom. And the microwave. But, with the slightly later bedtime came a later morning rising! And no one got up in the middle of the night! 

At the end of the weekend, I was one happy Nana with 'Grand Love' in my heart.  

Wednesday, June 13

Goodbye Phoenix

The party's over.
Gene would tell you that the party was pretty rough.
From what I saw.... the party was scary crazy.

I wanted to blog along the way ~ through the surgery and recovery, etc. ~ but I was either too busy helping Gene, trying to find a minute to go eat, return a phone call, text or email, or take the dogs out to potty.
Oh, and sleep.
Ask our kids. They did not get phone calls ~ they had to rely on Facebook updates most days just like everyone else.

And then there was this other reason.
How to blog about something that is scary emotionally?
When the person you love and cherish is hurting so much.
Is what you are experiencing too personal to share?

It was great to have people with me for those days before and after Gene's surgery.
And I thought I was a big girl ~ independent ~ capable ~ strong ~ caregiver..... I could handle it all by myself when they left.  But, the fact of the matter was..... it was HARD.

Hard to watch the doctors as they tried to remove the breathing tube from his mouth/throat ~ taking two tries at bringing him out of sedation and the planets aligning just right before pulling it out.  I stood next to his bed trying to figure out what he was pointing at while his arms were restrained. I finally noticed his opposite hand moving ever so slightly. One finger spelling out words on a pillow.
C H O K E.
He was choking on the tube and wanting to be put back under sedation. My heart was hurting for him. Fortunately the tube was removed shortly afterwards.  One just never imagines.

Hard to leave his hospital room. Gene was ever so serious about me "not forgetting where I left him".  I knew it was paranoia from the anesthesia, but, I still felt bad for him being alone when I would leave to go eat (my escape time) or go back to the hotel to tend to the dogs.  I slept at the hospital all but the first night (he was sedated) and the last night (his pain meds were on track).

Hard to be on a two hour time difference than my friends and sister. But, think about it... hard to share things while sitting in the room with Gene. After all, it would be about him!!!

I WAS strong. And I was capable of most everything presented to me. I even think I was a good caregiver (and continue to be).  But not all days / nights were easy emotionally.  I was so thankful for social media. It at least gave us a way to connect with those back home and read that prayers were being lifted up for him/us. They were felt.

Goodbye Phoenix. The surgery was a success (we saw the MRI). Now the healing begins.

first sitting 
Since Gene had MRSA staff last year
 they wanted everyone to wear these! 

Incisions after going home

First walking